India’s Menstruation Man :The Sanitary Pad Genius

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Arunachalam Muruganantham with one of his machines for making sanitary pads: Aljazeera

Arunachalam Muruganantham was obsessed with making the perfect sanitary pad for his wife. After years of work, his invention has changed the lives of millions of women in India. Arunachalam Muruganantham’s invention came at a great personal cost – he nearly lost his family, his money and his place in society. But he kept his sense of humour.

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It all began in 1998, when Arunachalam Muruganantham, the son of poor handloom weavers in South India, realised that his wife was using old rags to deal with menstruation because she couldn’t afford sanitary pads. Muruga was shocked. But he also saw a chance to impress her. He decided to produce her sanitary pads himself. At first it seemed a simple task: he bought a roll of cotton wool and cut it into pieces, the same size as the pads sold in the shops, and then wrapped a thin layer of cotton around it. He presented this homemade prototype pad to his wife and asked her to test it. The feedback she gave him was devastating: his pad was useless and she would rather continue using old rags.

Where did he go wrong? What was the difference between his sanitary pads and those available at the shop? Muruga started experimenting with different materials, but was faced with another problem: he always had to wait a month before his wife could test each new prototype.

Muruganantham says that he was shocked to learn that women in rural areas don’t just use old rags, but other unhygienic substances such as sand, sawdust, leaves and even ash.

Women who do use cloths are often too embarrassed to dry them in the sun, which means they don’t get disinfected. Approximately 70% of all reproductive diseases in India are caused by poor menstrual hygiene – it can also affect maternal mortality.

Muruga needed volunteers and had an idea where he might find them. He asked medical students at a university close to his village. Some of them actually tested his pads but they were too shy to give him detailed feedback.

Left with no alternative, he decided to test the sanitary pads himself. He built a uterus using a rubber bladder, filled it with animal blood and fixed it to his hip. A tube led from the artificial uterus to the sanitary pad in his underpants. By pressing the bladder he simulated the menstrual flow.

Unfortunately he began to smell foul and his clothes were often stained with blood. His neighbours soon noticed this. It was clear to them that Muruga was either ill or perverted. After a while his wife couldn’t stand the constant gossip. She left him and went to live with her mother.

But Muruga didn’t give up. He knew why he was going through all this. During his research he had learned that only ten to twenty percent of all girls and women in India have access to proper menstrual hygiene products. This was no longer just about helping his wife. Muruga was on mission: to produce low-cost sanitary pads for all the girls and women in his country.

It was two years before he finally found the right material and another four years before he developed a way to process it. The result was an easy-to-use machine for producing low-cost sanitary pads. Imported machines cost over US$500,000. Muruga’s machine, by contrast, is priced at US$950.

Now women’s groups or schools can buy his machine, produce their own sanitary pads and sell the surplus. In this way, Muruga’s machine has created jobs for women in rural India. He has started a revolution in his own country, selling 1,300 machines to 27 states, and has recently begun exporting them to developing countries all over the world.

Today he is one of India’s most well-known social entrepreneurs and TIME magazine named him one of the 100 most influential people in the world in 2014.

Several corporations have offered to buy his machine, but he has refused, instead preferring to sell to women’s self help groups.

Some Facts:
* 300 million: The number of women in India without access to safe menstrual hygiene products.

* 1 in 5: The number of girls in India who drop out of school due to menstruation.

Source: Al Jazeera

Matrilocality :7 Societies Where Women Rule (2)

Nagovisi
The Nagovisi are one of three tribes of South Bougainville, a large tropical island west of New Guinea and north of Australia.

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Here,women dominate in food production as men are dependent on women’s cultivation for food. Women are the garden authorities who cultivate sweet potatoes and other food stuff, and their husbands only help them in heavy tasks like clearing the land for a new garden. Shared garden labour is almost as much a part of marriage as is shared sexuality. Widows are sometimes denied assistance in clearing, to encourage them to remarry.

If a couple quarrels, the man will stop eating coconuts from his wife’s trees, sometimes because she forbids him to eat them, and sometimes because he chooses to avoid them. A conciliatory act (usually the gift of a pig) is required. Usually the wife has to give the compensation. A refusal to eat anything from the garden would mean divorce.

To Nagovisi, marriage is a relatively flux institutions, the signs of marriage are that the couple sleeps in the same house, the couple walks around together, and the man works in the woman’s garden. They consider sex equally pleasurable for men and women.

Every adult woman has the inalienable right to use some of her descent group’s land for food gardens and to transfer title to her daughters.

The Nagovisi are comprehensively divided into two society-wide exogamous and totemic matrilineal moieties (halves), which are divided into numerous land-owning matriclans, which are themselves subdivided into localized, land-using matrilineages. The latter retain their localized character through uxorilocal residence (the practice, wherein a man, upon marriage, goes to live in the home community of his wife). In addition, the clans and lineages of the Nagovisi are the owners of other kinds of valuables, including shell money, and they were the focal points of most religious rituals and of much political influence. The shell money is kept as strands of shell disks or beads. Among Nagovisi the finest are heirloom jewelry, given from mother to daughter; the second best form is used in buying pigs, in marriage exchanges (if there were any), and in compensation for insult, injury, or death.

Nagovisi women share leadership with men; a strong matrilineage system having political functions exists, with women playing significant roles in decision making and ceremonialism. Nevertheless, they have a dislike of chiefs and communal efforts.

Bribri
The Bribri are an indigenous people of Costa Rica. They live in the Talamanca (canton) in Limón Province of Costa Rica and northern Panama. They live on reservations and non-protected areas. Some estimate the tribal population in Costa Rica to be around 35,000.

The Bribri social structure is organized in Clans. Each clan is composed of an extended family. The clan system is matrilineal, that is, a child’s clan is determined by the clan his or her mother belongs to. This gives women a very important place in Bribri society since they are the only ones that can inherit land and prepare the sacred cacao (Theobroma cacao) drink that is essential for their rituals.

Men’s roles are defined by their clan, and often are exclusive for men. Examples of these roles are the “awa” or shaman, and the “oko”, the only person allowed to touch the remains of the dead, sing funeral songs, and prepare the food eaten at funerals. Only certain clans are allowed to become awapa. Since the clan comes from the mother’s side of the family, an awa cannot teach his own sons, but rather the sons of his female relatives.

Chewa
Chewa people are found in Malawi. When a Chewa boy and a girl agree to marry. They exchange gifts known as chikole. This is a gift from a boy to a girl in form of clothing, household items or money given at a time of proposing marriage. The gift may be returnable upon termination of betrothal.

However, it is not essential for the validity of a marriage. After the chikole, they both exchange information regarding the identity of their parents and their maternal uncles. The next step is for the boy to inform his mwini mbumba who eventually seeks the opinion of his nkhoswe wamkulu. Having obtained the approval of his nkhoswe wamkulu, the boy’s mwini mbumba institutes formal negotiations with the girl’s mwini mbumba. A further meeting is arranged for a later date to enable the girl’s mwini mbumba to consult his family elders, and to make private inquiries about the boy’s character and family background.

At the next meeting, if the boy’s proposal is accepted, a convenient date is fixed for the conclusion of the marriage negotiations, namely, the cohabitation between the spouses. Meanwhile, the boy will be encouraged to visit the girl’s home, and will be shown a piece of land on which he is expected to build the matrimonial home. This ends the formal negotiations for the proposed marriage. In some areas, if the marriage proposal has been accepted, a chicken by the boy’s mwini mbumba is offered to the girl’s mwini mbumba. The marriage may be regarded as concluded when the girl is handed over by her marriage guardian to the boy, and the parties begin to cohabit.

When a valid matrilineal customary marriage has been contracted, the husband is expected to go and live with his wife at his wife’s village. This is called chikamwini. Its original intent seems to have been a way of introducing a dependent male labourer into the wife’s family unit.
The residence for the married spouses is matrilocal. The husband is shown a piece of land on which to build the matrimonial home. They also allocate a piece of land to the newly wed couple to be used for cultivation of crops essential for the subsistence of their family. All the rights in respect of such land, are exercisable only with the consent of the wife’s kholo.

Similarly, land allocated to a wife in her husband’s village is subject to the control and interest of the husband’s kholo. However, residence elsewhere chitengwa may be permitted at a later stage if the parties are agreeable and the arrangement has the consent of the wife’s guardian.

The Khasi and the Garo
The Khasi and the Garo are agricultural peoples who live in hill districts in Meghalaya state in North-Eastern India. They practice wet rice (paddy) agriculture. Both inheritance of property and succession to tribal office run through female line, passing from mother to youngest daughter.

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A Khasi woman

Among the Garo, one daughter, usually the youngest, is chosen as heiress. For the heiress, the husband is selected by her parents, and the groom ceremonially captured – the groom may even run away twice. The youngest son-in-law comes to live in his wife’s parents’ house and becomes his father-in-law’s nokrom, or clan representative in the mother-in-law’s family. If the father-in-law dies, the nokrom marries (and the marriage has to be consummated) the widowed mother-in-law, thus becoming the husband of both mother and daughter. This custom is now falling into disuse.

The Garos usually live as extended families in large longhouses. Other non -inheriting girls select their own husbands in a process that can be much more complex.

‘Initiative is always taken by the Garo girl. Boys behave demurely and fight shy of entering into wedlock without social pressure.’ However, no able-bodied adult must remain without mate; replacement marriages are arranged in case of death or dissolution of the marriage. Incompatible marriages can be dissolved; and illegitimately born child suffers no indignity (as the parents may marry anyway soon) if it is not a sequence of an incest within the same lineage. Marriages are exogamous, that means that the husband belongs to another matrilineage than the wife.

The managerial head of the land of the Garo lineage is the husband of the ‘matron’. Village council is formed by all the adult male members of the village.

While a Khasi clan mother is viewed as the wordly equivalent of the Primal Mother, Ka Blei. She is the most important person of the community, its chief and priestess, who administers the clan property.

Like the Garo people, the husband of the youngest daughter moves into the family house. A Khasi child takes the surname of the mother.

However, Khasi men had traditionally important duties as hunters and defending the community in case of war. The government administration is solely the responsibility of Khasi men. Important questions and decisions are discussed among all clan members, and most Khasi men’s opinions are taken into consideration.

Matrilocality :7 Societies Where Women Rule (1)

I got curious when I came across a read where children are called by their clan names gotten from their mothers as opposes surnames which many of us get from our fathers. So I decided to go more reading and it got more interesting.

By standard definition, a matriarchy is a “family, group or state governed by a matriarch (a woman who is head of a family or tribe).” Anthropologists and feminists have since created more specific classifications for female societies, including the matrilineal system. Matrilineality refers not only to tracing one’s lineage through maternal ancestry, it can also refer to a civil system in which one inherits property through the female line.

1. Amazons
The legendary Amazons (probably the most widely known matriarchy) are relegated to mythology.

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Amazon preparing for a battle (Queen Antiop or Armed Venus), by Pierre-Eugène-Emile Hébert 1860 (National Gallery of Art, Washington, D.C.).

In Greek mythology, the Amazons were a race of woman warriors. Herodotus reported that they were related to the Scythians (an Iranian people) and placed them in a region bordering Scythia in Sarmatia (modern territory of Ukraine). Other historiographers place them in Anatolia or sometimes Libya.

In some versions of the myth, no men were permitted to have sexual encounters or reside in Amazon country; but once a year, in order to prevent their race from dying out, they visited the Gargareans, a neighbouring tribe. The male children who were the result of these visits were either killed, sent back to their fathers or exposed in the wilderness to fend for themselves; the girls were kept and brought up by their mothers, and trained in agricultural pursuits, hunting, and the art of war. In other versions when the Amazons went to war they would not kill all the men. Some they would take as slaves, and once or twice a year they would have sex with their slaves.

The intermarriage of Amazons and men from other tribes was also used to explain the origin of various people; for example, the story of the Amazons settling with the Scythians by Herodotus.

2.Mosuo
Known to many as the ‘Kingdom of Women’, because they are a matrilineal society. The Mosuo are a small ethnic group living in Yunnan and Sichuan provinces in China, close to the border with Tibet. They have a population of about 50,000, and are found near Lugu Lake in the Tibetan Himalayas. The Chinese government officially classifies them as part of another ethnic minority known as the Naxi, but the two are distinct in both culture and language.

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The Mosuo live with extended family in large households; at the head of each is a matriarch. Lineage is traced through the female side of the family, and property is passed down along the same matriline. Mosuo women typically handle business decisions and men handle politics. Children are raised in the mother’s households and take her name.

Historically, the Mosuo lived in a feudal system where a larger peasant population was controlled by a small nobility. The nobility was afraid of the peasant class gaining power. Since leadership was hereditary, the peasant class was given a matriarchal system. This prevented threats to nobility power by having the peasant class trace lineage through the female line. This system has led to numerous unusual traits among Mosuo society.

Heterosexual activity occurs only by mutual consent and mostly through the custom of the secret nocturnal ‘visit’; men and women are free to have multiple partners, and to initiate or break off relationships when they please.

After the coming of age ceremony, Masuo women are allowed their own private bedroom within the household in which they live; men are not afforded this advantage.

The Mosuo men practice tisese which misleadingly translates as walking marriage in Chinese. However, the Mosuo term literally means ‘goes back and forth’.

Women have the choice to invite men of interest to their private sleeping room. If the man does not reciprocate this desire, he may simply never visit the woman’s household. Men perform tisese in the true sense of the word. They can seek entry into the sleeping chambers of any woman they desire who also desires them. When feelings are reciprocal, a man will be allowed into a woman’s private sleeping area  There he will spend the night and walk back to his mother’s home in the early morning.

Since children always remains in the mother’s care, sometimes the father plays little role in the upbringing. In some cases, the father’s identity is not even known. Instead, the male’s childrearing responsibilities remain in his own matrilineal household.

3. Akan
Akans is a large meta-ethnicity and ethno-linguistic group in  and the republics of Ghana and the Ivory Coast in West Africa with a population of roughly 20 million people. The Akan language is also known as Twi–Fante.

Many but not all of the Akan still practice their traditional matrilineal customs, living in their traditional extended family households. The traditional Akan economic and political organization is based on matrilineal lineages, which are the basis of inheritance and succession. A lineage is defined as all those related by matrilineal descent from a particular ancestress. Several lineages are grouped into a political unit headed by a council of elders, each of whom is the elected head of a lineage – which itself may include multiple extended-family households.
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Public offices are thus vested in the lineage, as are land tenure and other lineage property. In other words, lineage property is inherited only by matrilineal kin. Each lineage controls the lineage land farmed by its members, functions together in the veneration of its ancestors, supervises marriages of its members, and settles internal disputes among its members.

The political units above are likewise grouped into eight larger groups called abusua: Aduana, Agona, Asakyiri, Asenie, Asona, Bretuo, Ekuona and Oyoko. The members of each such abusua are united by their belief that they are all descended from the same ancient ancestress – so marriage between members of the same group (or abusua) is forbidden, a taboo on marriage. One inherits, or is a lifelong member of, the lineage, the political unit and the abusua of one’s mother, regardless of one’s gender or marriage. Members and their spouses thus belong to different abusuas, with mother and children living and working in one household, but their husband/father living and working in a different household.

In the Akan culture, a man is strongly related to his mother’s brother but only weakly related to his father’s brother. This must be viewed in the context of a polygamous society in which the mother/child bond is likely to be much stronger than the father/child bond. As a result, in inheritance, a man’s nephew (his sister’s son) will have priority over his own son. Uncle-nephew relationships therefore assume a dominant position.

“The principles governing inheritance, generation and age – that is to say, men come before women and seniors before juniors.”… When a woman’s brothers are available, a consideration of generational seniority stipulates that the line of brothers be exhausted before the right to inherit lineage property passes down to the next senior genealogical generation of sisters’ sons. Finally, “it is when all possible male heirs have been exhausted that the females” may inherit. Often, the man is expected to not only support his own family, but those of his female relatives.

Certain other aspects of the Akan culture are determined patrilineally rather than matrilineally. There are 12 patrilineal Ntoro (spirit) groups, and everyone belongs to his or her father’s Ntoro group, but not to his family lineage and abusua. Each Ntoro group has its own surnames, taboos, ritual purifications and forms of etiquette. A person thus inherits one’s Ntoro from one’s father, but does not belong to his family.

Nowadays,  some families are changing from the above abusua structure to the nuclear family.Housing, childcare, education, daily work, and elder care etc. are then handled by that individual family, rather than by the abusua or clan, especially in the city.The above taboo on marriage within one’s abusua is sometimes ignored, but “clan membership” is still important, with many people still living in the abusua framework presented above.

4. Minangkabau

Minangkabau people, also known as Minang is an ethnic group indigenous to the Minangkabau Highlands of West Sumatra, Indonesia. Their culture is both matrilineal and patriarchal, with property and land passing down from mother to daughter, while religious and political affairs are the responsibility of men (although some women also play important roles in these areas. Women usually rule the domestic realm .This custom is called Adat perpatih in Malaysia and Lareh Bodi Caniago in Indonesia. However, both genders feel the separation of powers keeps them on an equal footing.

The Minangkabau firmly believe the mother to be the most important person in society. Today 4 million Minangs live in West Sumatra, while about 4 million more are scattered throughout many Indonesian and Malay peninsular cities and towns.

Minangkabau have large corporate descent groups, but they traditionally reckon descent matrilineally. A young boy, for instance, has his primary responsibility to his mother’s and sisters’ clans.It is considered “customary” and ideal for married sisters to remain in their parental home, with their husbands having a sort of visiting status. Not everyone lives up to this ideal. Nonetheless, there is a shared ideal among Minangkabau in which sisters and unmarried lineage members try to live close to one another or even in the same house.

Landholding is one of the crucial functions of the suku (female lineage unit). Because Minangkabau men often migrate to seek experience, wealth, and commercial success, the women’s kin group is responsible for maintaining the continuity of the family and the distribution and cultivation of the land. These family groups, however, are typically led by a penghulu (headman), elected by groups of lineage leaders.The clan chief is always male, women select the chief and can remove him from office should they feel he failed to fulfill his duties.

The Minangs are the world’s largest matrilineal society; properties such as land and houses are inherited through female lineage and guarded by clanmen. This custom is called Adat perpatih. Some scholars argue that this might have caused the diaspora (Minangkabau, “merantau”) of Minangkabau males throughout the Maritime Southeast Asia to become scholars or to seek fortune as merchants. However, the native Minangkabaus agreed that this matrilineal culture is indeed the result of (not the reason for) diaspora. With their men travelling out of the country for unspecified time (with possibility of some of them not returning home), it is only logical to hand the land and property to those who do not have to leave it: The women. This also ensures the women’s (meaning: mothers of the future generations’) welfare and hence ensuring their offsprings welfare. Besides, native Minangkabaus argue that “Men can live anywhere and hence they do not need a house like women do”. The concept of matrilineal can be seen from the naming of important museums such as “The house where Buya Hamka was born” by Maninjau Lake. It has never been and never will be Buya Hamka’s house because it was his mother’s house and passed down only to his sisters. Another museum in Bukit Tinggi was called by the locals: “Muhammad Hatta’s Mom’s house” where you will see that Muhammad Hatta (the Indonesia’s Independence Proclamator) only had a room outside of the house, albeit attached to it.

A  young man usually waits passively for a marriage proposal from some young woman’s family. Upon marriage, every woman acquires her own sleeping quarters. The husband may sleep with her, but must leave early in the morning to have breakfast at his mother’s home. At age 7-10, boys leave their mother’s home to stay in men’s quarters and learn practical skills and religious teachings.

Increasingly, married couples go off on merantau; in such situations, the woman’s role tends to change. When married couples reside in urban areas or outside the Minangkabau region, women lose some of their social and economic rights in property. One apparent consequence is an increased likelihood of divorce.

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Minangkabau women and girls dressed up

Christine: 3 Decades Of Domestic Violence

Christine grew up in a stable family with loving parents. She was 19 when she met and fell in love with Daniel. They married and she quickly became pregnant, giving birth to a baby girl. Daniel had always been very attentive but following the arrival of the baby, he became possessive and controlling. He refused to let Christine visit her parents and took away any money they sent her. When Christine fell pregnant again, he verbally abused her, refusing to believe the child was his and accusing her of being a useless mother. When he hit her for the first time, Christine felt shocked and ashamed, but Daniel promised it would never happen again.

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Christine endured 30 years of abuse. Daniel’s behaviour drove her into the ground, stripping her of her self-esteem. Christine was also subjected to outbursts of extreme violence. On one occasion, Daniel grabbed Christine and tried to push her out of an upstairs window. When she tried to get away he kicked her down the stairs. Another night Christine woke as Daniel poured methylated spirits all over her. She lay petrified while he stood over her throwing matches at her soaking body. Each match he threw went out as it fell. He only stopped when his young son saw him and his daughter called the police.

Over the years Christine tried to leave a number of times but Daniel would convince the children that he couldn’t cope on his own. When he was arrested for trying to set her alight, he telephoned the children, crying down the line. Seeing her children in such distress, Christine felt she had no choice but to drop the charges and take him back.

Years passed and the children went to university. Christine felt more isolated than ever, living in a rural area with no friends and no one to turn to. She tried to keep busy and found a weekend job as a volunteer for the National Trust. One evening she got home late after missing the bus home. When she walked in Daniel attacked her for not being home on time. She suddenly realized that he couldn’t have any more from her. There was nothing left to give.

That night Christine tried to kill herself. She took some pills and lay on the couch. She remained there drifting in and out of consciousness for three days while Daniel walked in and out of the room. The only time he spoke was to call her lazy for not going to work. After three days the children became concerned that Christine wasn’t answering the phone and called an ambulance.

Christine was in hospital for six weeks. When she finally woke up she was diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. The hospital contacted the local refuge but there was no space available. The only option was to send Christine home and keep in touch with her through a social worker. Christine knew what would be waiting for her at home and sure enough, within weeks Daniel attacked her again. She managed to call the police and they came and arrested him. Christine obtained an injunction to keep him away from the house and filed for divorce.

When the case came to court, Daniel’s barrister accused Christine of lying, making up stories because she was angry about the divorce. He challenged her story and accused her of inflicting the injuries upon herself. The barrister did enough to convince the jury of reasonable doubt and Daniel was released. This time Christine went home only long enough to pack her bags.

Christine stayed with her son until she could find somewhere to live. When Christine was finally given a one bedroom flat she felt that she had peace of mind. A place of her own.

Christine was advised that she could try claiming for criminal injuries and she was awarded almost £9,000 for the mental stress, physical injury and sexual assault she had endured.

“I broke down and fell to my knees. It was the first time that anyone had actually said that they believed me. I had finally got some justice.

I started going to the gym and began to lose weight. I found out about the Hydroactive Challenge – a 3km run in London – and took part, raising money for Refuge. It was such an amazing experience. I ran as part of the Refuge team and my children were waiting for me at the finish line. I finished in 33 minutes – not bad for their old mum! I am now working with my trainer, aiming to take part in a 10km run next year.

By the time I was finally able to leave, I had been with Daniel for 30 years. He was never punished for the way he treated me and I have heard that he is now hitting his new girlfriend. I try not to think about him anymore. It was a very long and painful journey but I now know that there is nowhere for me to go but up and I am looking to the future.

I have a new man in my life now.  We were friends for two years before anything happened. But now he tells me that I am beautiful every day. I finally feel cherished .

I want women reading this to realize that no matter how long it may take you to make a decision about your life, you can do it. And it’s worth it.”

All names and identifying details have been changed to protect individuals involved.

Culled from the refuge’s website

The Women On My Journey By Rev. Melissa M. Bowers 

To the women on my journey
Who showed me the ways to go and ways not to go,
Whose strength and compassion held up a torch of light
and beckoned me to follow,
Whose weakness and ignorance darkened the path and encouraged me
to turn another way.

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To the women on my journey
Who showed me how to love and how not to live,
Whose grace, success and gratitude lifted me into the fullness
of surrender to God,
Whose bitterness, envy and wasted gifts warned me away
from the emptiness of self-will

To the women on my journey
Who showed me what I am and what I am not,
Whose love, encouragement and confidence held me tenderly
and nudged me gently,
Whose judgement, disappointment and lack of faith called me
to deeper levels of commitment and resolve.

To the women on my journey who taught me love
by means of both darkness and light.

To these women I say bless you and thank you from the
depths of my heart,
for I have been healed and set free
through your joy and through your sacrifice.

Rev. Melissa M. Bowers 

In Love, Three Times!

Bill and Steve are enjoying a beer and discussing the possibility of love. ‘I thought I was in love three times,’ Bill says.

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‘Thought?’ Steve asks. ‘What do you mean?’

‘Three years ago, I cared very deeply for a woman who wanted nothing to do with me,’ Bill says.

‘Wasn’t that love?’ Steve asks.

‘No, that was obsession,’ Bill explains. ‘Then two years ago, I cared very deeply for an attractive woman who didn’t understand me.’

‘Wasn’t that love?’ asks Steve.

‘No, that was lust,’ Bill replies. ‘And just last year, I met a woman while I was on a cruise. She was gorgeous, intelligent, a great conversationalist and had a super sense of humor. Everywhere I followed her on that ship, I would get a very strange sensation in the pit of my stomach.’

‘Well, wasn’t that love,’ asks Steve.

‘No. That was motion sickness!’ Bill replies.